He Won.

Sunny and 70°, my passenger side window down, I had my eyes closed relishing the warmth of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. “Summer of ‘69” was playing on the radio and Luke was singing along. After making our way through an absurd amount of roundabouts we pulled into the parking lot and, after I said a quick prayer over Luke, we made our way into the less than 1 year old facility. Luke checked in and I made my way to the same set of waiting room chairs we’ve sat in repeatedly for half a year. I looked out at the pond that’s set behind the building and noticed the ice had begun to melt. Crazy to think Luke and Lila were just ice fishing a handful of days ago, I thought to myself. Luke came over and started filling out the symptoms questionnaire they give at every appointment. No labs today, unlike every other time we’ve come for an appointment. He had them drawn before his PET scan earlier in the week.

I looked around the waiting room, noticing a young woman with her elderly parents, a few middle aged couples, a man who looked close to our age, and a few other solo patients. Like always. I scanned for adorable elderly folks who Luke would inevitably tell me, “No you can’t take them home.” Just like every other time we’ve been here the Game Show Network was playing on the tv. Today it was Drew Carey hosting The Price is Right. A trip to Barbados was up for grabs. I’ll take that as a sign I’m supposed to be on a beach, somewhere tropical, enjoying a margarita while I listen to nothing but crashing waves.

We waited about 20 minutes. Jay, a medical assistant who I swear is 7ft tall (he literally towers over Luke who is 6’5”), called Luke’s name and led us back to an exam room. It was the exam room with the giant canvas photo of 8 golden retrievers sitting in front of a ‘60s-‘70s Volkswagen van. Dr. Dunder, oncologist by day/band member by night, had a speaker playing an array of music and before I knew it “Name” by the Goo Goo Dolls came on. If you don’t know, that’s one of my all time favorite songs. Luke thought I was crazy but I took it as a sign.

When Doc walked in he had a huge smile plastered across his face and said, “It’s good news man, really good news.” I immediately began to sob while Luke smiled, repeatedly asking, “Really?!”

Before leaving the office that day Luke scheduled his port removal, a follow up CT in 4 months, and his first follow up appointment with labs for this summer. While he did that I headed outside, took a seat on a bench, closed my eyes, and soaked in the sunlight. He won.