Disconnect: as a noun, it refers to a lack of connection, communication, or compatibility between two things, such as a gap between ideas or policies. The last 2 months or so I’ve felt a huge disconnect from God. From religion. I had been really working towards building my relationship with God and growing on my faith, but suddenly it all dissipated. It’s actually a scary feeling. I’m not sure when or where it happened, and I don’t want to make excuses, but it feels like when we got the good news about Luke’s cancer and everything sped up 100mph with spontaneously making an offer on a new home and having to rush to fix ours, I just pushed through the motions and forgot to focus on my original mission. Then, of course, life happened – kids’ activities, work, illness, etc., and now I feel like I’m so far off I don’t know how to get back.
I feel embarrassed. Ashamed? Definitely disappointed in myself. I’m tired, happy, but also sad. Weird right? I’m not sure what the next step is, and I’d pray on it but I literally feel this “rift” between myself and my faith right now, and oddly enough – after everything these past 9ish months, I should be more excited and grateful than ever. I don’t understand, and it doesn’t make any sense. At least I’m finally saying it out loud – or typing it publicly – instead of just ignoring it like I have been.
Rooted + Roaming 